bl00diedhell:

listoflifehacks:

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NSFW Life Hacks Part 1 Here

SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER AT THE DISHCLOTH ONE OH MY FUCKING CHRIST

ocebutt:

dooptown:

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE

how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.

lydiduh:

alfronaut:

this was the most surreal experience of my life this girl with a Tiny Pony walked past me and didn’t acknowledge me at all and this like heavenly glow was following the Tiny Pony and a bee landed on my face??? i think i had a spiritual experience.

I think I’ve read enough Greek mythology to tell you that you may be pregnant now

midesko:

Sometimes I see kids and don’t want them but then I see stuff like this

(Source: pleatedjeans)

(Source: glennnrhee)

the-female-condition:

chosimbaone:

Force kids in school to read crappy, overrated books that are “the best books ever written” solely because they’re “classics” and then call those kids idiots because those aren’t the kind of books they like to read and sit back and wonder why we have a nation full of multiple generations worth of people who willfully and proudly refuse to read.

hello

notyournutritionalbreakfast:

So today during lunch someone had spilled their milk, and instead of cleaning it up, they turned it into a chicken.

All hail the chocolate milk chicken.

(Source: allpartofanutritiousbreakfast)

(Source: eau-de-poison)

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

tastefullyoffensive:

Mankind’s greatest invention. [video]

DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC: Wait-
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel: PEACE

did-you-kno:

Individuals who fail to understand sarcasm are more likely to suffer from dementia and experience a decrease in the brain’s abilities.

Source

If more men said “don’t be that guy” to each other instead of “not all men” to women… what a wonderful world this could be.
JennyJo (via theremina)

thatcorbincrow:

one time, as a prompt, my creative writing teacher told us all to get out our phones and text a ridiculous question to somebody. so i asked my friend “what shade of blue is the sky today?” and he sent me the actual fucking hexcode

kuuromi:

CRUSH THE IDEA THAT NONBINARY PEOPLE HAVE TO BE MASCULINE IN ORDER TO BE ANDROGYNOUS